As if it's destiny, just a month after Avril left us, it's time for Furball, the other bunny to go away forever. She had been suffering from terrible 'sore hocks' for months before leaving us. She used to be a really healthy bunny who loved to eat all the time but as she started to fall sick, she rarely ate and had lost a considerable amount of weight. I sent her to the vet and fed her with the medications but it didn't work. I blame it on me for not being the best to her while she was alive. What really breaks my heart is that she was my one and only pet that died in my arms. Before it happened, I went out to get some medications to ease her pain. Just minutes after I arrived, I held her and she drew what must have been her last excruciating breath. It's as if she waited for me before saying good bye forever.
Although deep in my heart, I believe that there's a better place for her than suffering in this world, still it's hard not to grieve. To accept the fact that she'd never be there to eat and greet me happily is really hard especially when I passed her room and stared at her empty space. I couldn't sleep just to think about her and to seek solace, I browsed the Net and found this poem:
I AM NOT THERE
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
Reading this has temporarily put a stop to the weeping. Wherever she is right now, I pray that she's happier than ever. Furball, forgive me for not being the best for you. I love you and you will always be in my heart forever.
The poem touches my heart. It is written beautifully, by a dead rabbit.
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